To Live by God's Agenda

"It takes the fire of God to cleanse our hearts of selfishness in all its subtle forms. Even loneliness may be a form of selfishness. One can reject friendship when it is not offered on the terms one chooses. One can reject the grace of God as Naaman the leper came perilously close to doing because it was not offered with the kind of ceremony he felt benefitted his station. One can magnify his loneliness out of all proportion, as though he suffered something that is not common to man, forgetting that "this is life" - not more, not less. One can draw about himself a thick quilt of self-pity and isolate himself in other ways, but if one turns the loneliness into solitude and the solitude into prayer, there is release. It may require a willingness to be burned if burning is necessary as it was for Isaiah, but there is forgiveness and cleansing and peace. In Isaiah's case, this was followed by God's call for a volunteer to work for Him. With a heart at leisure now from itself, Isaiah could answer, "Here I am, send me."

I was pondering this matter when the Lord brought straight to my kitchen table yesterday a living example of such a heart. A bright young woman and I were eating lamb sandwiches. I asked her if she was lonely.

"Lonely? Why should I be?"

"You're single. Most of the single people I know talk about being lonely."

With a look of surprise and then a laugh she said, "Oh no. You see, I have a sense of expectancy every day. What does the Lord want to do with me today? I have no agenda of my own."

No agenda of my own. There is the key to Linda's freedom. I continued to question her. Yes, she said, she knows what loneliness feels like - it's isolation, when you think you can't reach anybody, nobody reaches you, you're cut off. You have your own agenda.

"What do you mean by an agenda?" I asked.

"Thinking there's only one solution and God has to give you that or nothing. You have a closed mind. A closed mind is a closed heart and a closed door."

Now I recognised the reason for the smile which seems always to light Linda's face. I think it must come from her wholehearted acceptance of God's "agenda."

"I love solitude," she said. "As I drove up here this morning [it was a dazzling winter morning of sunshine and blue sky and blue shadows on the snow] I didn't have the radio on. I wasn't listening to tapes. i was just quiet. I love times like that."

The heart which has no agenda but God's is the heart at leisure from itself. Its emptiness is filled with the Love of God. Its solitude can be turned into prayer."

- Elisabeth Elliot, "Turn Your Solitude into Prayer"