Ask of Me and I will make the nations your inheritance

So today I was in my room thinking about how funny it is that even though I'm Chinese I feel more Indian/Malay on the inside than Chinese. It's not that crazy considering the fact that most of my closest friends have always been Malay and Indian, and I'd pick Malay/Indian food over Chinese food most days. And I feel more comfortable listening to Malay being spoken than I would with Chinese - and in fact always get that strange, jarring feeling like I'm forcing myself into a circle I don't quite belong in when I hear Chinese being spoken. 

And so I was deep in these thoughts and wondering what God's purpose could be in fashioning me in this particular way when suddenly Mercy called me out of my room and gave me this little Chinese tribesman and said, "This is for you to remind you that one day you'll have to go and preach to the tribes."

Me: ?!!!!!!!!

Okay, anyone who knows me will have heard me talk about going to India, going to the Middle East, going to Indonesia, going to Africa - places like that. But China has never once crossed my mind, and I don't particularly have any desire to go there and have never felt any burden for the Chinese before, so that really took me by surprise.

But oh well...have learnt from the last few years' folly to never set limits/boundaries on God's dream for me. After all, if you had told me last year that I would be going to at least 3 countries that I had never been to before just this year alone, I would've thought you're crazy - but I am. In fact, even though India has always been on my heart, I never thought I'd actually make it there [what IS it with us and our ridiculous self-imposed limits?] and God opened the door for me to go in such a dramatic way the only explanation that I can come up with for it was that He really wanted me there.

I remember on the last day of my trip to India, daddy was praying for our visit to the gypsies slums and suddenly he just started praying that the Indian people will remain on my heart and that God would cause me to keep praying for them and thinking of them even as I go home to my life of overwhelming comfort and convenience. And then a few hours' later, he said, "I might never come back to India again."

In my heart I was screaming: "DADDY IF YOU DON'T COME BACK HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO AGAIN? WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME REMEMBERING THEM IF I CAN'T COME BACK?!"

Sigh, I'm still struggling to understand what that means in terms of his calling to the nations, and my connection with India, and my future calling.

All these prophetic people, so mysterious sometimes!

Will I ever go back to India again?

Maybe. 

Will I go to China someday?

Maybe.

Will I go back to Malaysia forever?

Maybe.

Will I stay in Singapore forever?

Maybe.

Will I get to one day go to the center of the Middle East and just stand there and hear God's heart for the region and declare it over the nations?

Maybe.

Will God ask me to abandon all these dreams and just build up the local church and never go to another country for the rest of my life?

Maybe.

Will God ask me to give up my life and be a politician and save my nation?

Maybe.

But wherever He goes, I wanna be there.

Wherever He sends me, wherever He wants me to go, I better make sure I'm there and don't miss a single thing He has set out for me.