On Prayer

Whoa, found this unpublished from November 2011! But it spoke to me coz I've been struggling with prayer recently...

Romans 8:26-27

"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we do not know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will." (NLT)

"Likewise the Spirit also helps us our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God." (NKJV)

***

God has a really interesting sense of humour. In the past few days, a few people happened to ask me some questions about prayer: How do I pray for someone who doesn't seem to be struggling with anything and when the person doesn't articulate what s/he needs? How do I know what they need? How do I pray when I feel like all the words I'm using are "borrowed" words, like they're not my own?

I say God has an interesting sense of humour because these are the questions I struggle with all the time. In fact, I think prayer is the most undeveloped and difficult area of my spiritual life even though I've often been told that I'm called to pray and intercede. When I'm in the secret place, the words just flow out of me, but it is a different story when I have to pray for someone before that person. Sometimes I don't understand why there is such a huge disconnection between my private and public prayers because I know that prayer is important, and can be especially powerful when it is done within and with the agreement of a community. But it terrifies me to pray in public, knowing that my words are being assessed by other people and the cracks in my eloquence are being made bare for everyone to hear. But I think maybe that's the root cause of all these questions: we think of prayer always in relation to how other people will perceive it when it's supposed to be about us pouring out our hearts to God.

And whilst I'm also still learning what it means to be praying for someone with a language that is inadequate, with a heart that can't fully see all things, with a spirit that is sometimes lukewarm and tired, here are some things that God has been teaching me about prayer in the past few weeks that I find comforting and helpful in my own prayer life:

1. When I know I have to pray for someone I consider spiritually a lot more mature than I am, I try to start asking God for prayer pointers beforehand so I won't be paralysed when I actually pray for that person, or feel like I'm unworthy to pray for him/her.

And I try to remember that no matter where we are spiritually, we are still human, and there are still situations and circumstances in our life that will always be out of our control. There are always a few things we CONSTANTLY need each day because we are fighting against the powers of principalities that come to steal and kill and destroy, so even if we don't know what the person needs, we know that we ALL need God's protection, power, presence, grace, strength, love, mercy, wisdom, favour everyday.

These are some of the things I think we take for granted when we think about prayer. We always think praying is about coming up with something mindblowing, or it's always about the fire from heaven moments, but these small things remind us of God's faithfulness and help us to acknowledge His work in our life.

2. Always remember that I am a child of God. That I am a CHILD to Him.

Children don't know everything, and they're not expected to. Children don't always know how to use language effectively, but we still understand what they're trying to get at. And in the same way, God doesn't expect perfect prayers, and even our lack of words or understanding cannot separate us from His love, which covers over all our shortcomings.

And it helps to remember that God KNOWS and understands that I am like a weak and helpless child without Him, sometimes even with His guidance I stumble about in darkness and maybe fail to follow Him perfectly, and He remembers that I am made out of dust, He is closest to me in my weaknesses, He knows all my anxious thoughts. He knows every word I am about to utter even before they are fully formed in my mind, He knows the intentions of my heart and the deepest cries of my spirit, so He will hear both the words that I speak and those that are left unspoken, the ones that I know how to put into words and the ones that are inexpressible and left unexpressed. And that thought just comforts me.

I have been quite privileged in understanding how this fatherly aspect of God works because my earthly father often KNOWS what I'm craving for without me having to tell him, and sometimes KNOWS what I'm doing, the desires of my heart, the secret plans I have and dare not share with the world, and sometimes he will speak them into being before I really understand what is going on in my own heart. So can you imagine how much more deeply God would KNOW us and WANT to help us bring these things to life?

3. Because of that, I find that I often do my best praying not when I'm blazing with passion, but when I'm so weak, so emptied out, so tired, so cold on the inside, so uninspired that prayer is the last thing on my mind.

And that is when the truth of Romans 8:26-27 comes in and asserts itself.

It is in moments like these when I just come before Him and tell Him I have nothing left to give Him, and ask Him to wash over me with His presence, to overtake me, to give me His words, to give me life, that He brings my prayers to a deeper level. I start seeing connections I never saw before, I start praying things I never would've prayed in the natural, I start delving deeper into His truths and begin to catch His heart in them, I start to let go and allow Him to expand His words over my life.

For example, if I'm asking Him to teach me how to love, I might normally pray, "God help me love with Your love", but in situations like these, it might come out as, "God flood me with Your love, help me know it and feel it. Let it begin to fill me up so strongly that I will be able to love others with a love that is unshakable, a love that is stronger than death, stronger than the works of the enemy...", and it's like the Holy Spirit brings me on a journey and I begin to see what God's love looks like in a clearer way, the power that it has, what it can do - and as I pray those things, I am also putting to death the lies of the enemy and proclaiming His life over my own heart, life, or the lives of others.

It ALWAYS surprises me when this happens, coz I'm not consciously sitting down and mulling over God's word or trying to get at the truth of what His Word says, but God will bring all these scriptures into my mind and suddenly I just get hit by revelations that go beyond knowledge, that I know do not proceed from my natural mind. And it's just fun, so try it!

4. And at times when I REALLY don't have any words, I just tell Him I don't have any words and thank Him for being the Lord of my life - which makes it OKAY for me to not have any words or know what to pray for - and tell Him to just do what He wills in the life of whoever I'm praying for. After all, I don't want to manipulate God with my words, or try to tell God how to run my own or someone else's life. I just enjoy Him. And that's enough for Him - and me.