"Sometimes it's like being in love with someone who doesn't love you back."

"'Do you know Hugo's poem about the ladybird?' said Karl after a while. 'It's odd, but I woke up thinking of it the other day. It's about a boy who wants to kiss a girl but he isn't sure whether to do it - I read it when I was a boy myself. I don't know why it has come back to me all of a sudden.'

'Why doesn't he just go ahead and do it? It's not one of those silly poetic things, is it?'

'He's not sure. She offers him her neck and he thinks she loves him. But when he comes close he realises that all she wants is for him to get rid of the ladybird on her neck. She didn't really love him after all.'

'Poor boy. He has my deepest sympathy.'

'No, you musn't feel sorry for him, because at the end he sees that it is a good thing. The truth may be painful, but it's better than an illusion. At least that's what I remember. And I can see now that my love for Bali has been like that. This island - she hasn't really loved me, has she? The longing is all one way. It's because of you that I can see this.'

'I don't understand.'

'Whenever I'm with you I see the Indies through you eyes, and it's wonderful. It's as if you're truly a part of this place. It belongs to you and you to it. You don't have to make any effort, yet you understand it completely. You view it all as a whole, not in parts as the rest of us do. You belong here. When I see that, I realise how I don't.'

'No, I don't. The only thing I really understand is that the colour of your skin is the only thing that matters.' In the moonlight, her arm almost touching his, she saw that they were almost exactly the same shade of sandy grey.

'I wish I were like you,' Karl said, 'but I can't be. I'll never have that ability. In the past few months I've thought about fleeing to some remote outer island where there are no Europeans. I'd be like some character from one of those novels, you know, about sea-faring Dutchmen who wash up on some shore and father children with a local woman. But I know I wouldn't belong there either. And this is why I must return to Holland, even though I hate it. I must go and fight.'"

- Tash Aw, Map of the Invisible World

*The quote in the title of this post is taken from Yasmin Ahmad's movie Gubra, in which a Chinese character, Alan, attempts to sum up how he feels about Malaysia.